Sunday, 8 April 2012

Shut Up, Liver!

The Official Written Rules of the Official Drinking Game Officially of Paris-Roubaix.

Kind, encouraging souls have enquired as to the rules of the Paris-Roubaix drinking game, Shut up, Liver!  So I made some up.

Management accept no responsibility for any loss or damage resulting from attempting Shut up, Liver!, permanent or otherwise.  We recommend you play using beer, cider, Long Island Iced Tea etc, playing using actual shots of hard spirits may kill you.

When to drink:

Drink for a puncture (sip)
Drink on a bike change (1 shot)
Drink for a crash (1 shot)
Drink if a rider is taken out by any of the following (2 shots):
  • Spectator
  • Street Furniture
  • Musette/ Jettisoned Bidon
  • Animal
  • Race Vehicle
  • Direct Meteor Strike
Drink every time one of the following are mentioned by the commentators (1 shot):
  • Cancellara
  • Merckx
  • Museeuw
  • Ridley Scott
  • Delilah Cavendish
Drink if a Euskaltel gets in the front break (2 shots)
Drink if you see a streaker (1 shot)
Drink if you see 3 blondes in Sky Jerseys waving a glittery Union flag with 'STANNARD' on it (1 shot).

Happy oblivion!  I sincerely hope this hospitalises no-one.

No comments:

Post a Comment